Saturday, October 15, 2011

So much shirtlessness.

Friday. Well, Friday started off with pancakes and pedicures.

No, we didn't get to eat our pancakes WHILE getting a pedicure, but that would have been nice.

Laura has a man toe cleaner guy! A MAN!
And her very first pedicure too!

 Maybe I should get my circulation checked out.

(That's like the 3rd time I've told that joke, and it's still not funny)

When will I learn?
Fancy Feet.

After pedicures, we went to their condo and snarfed food.

Even though the beginning of our day consisted of virtually zero activity, the girls were wiped out, so they took naps.
Tonight we had reservations for the Paradise Cove Luau.
I had no idea what to expect from a Luau, except that I knew there would be food, which was reason enough for me to be thrilled. 

I curled my hair and put on makeup. For the first time in 5 weeks. 

I was dressed and ready first, so I went down stairs to watch TV. A bit later, Laura woke up from her nap.
" that what you're wearing.....?" 
"..........uh, yes...
WHY?! What are YOU wearing?" 
"Oh, no. You look....nice. We're just wearing dresses..." 
DRESSES?! Oh great. That's just great.

From start to finish, the girls spent like 5 seconds getting ready, and they looked SMOKING hot. I spent like 45 minutes. And I looked like I'd just spent 12 hours scooping poop.


So then we spent like 8 hours in traffic, and eventually, FINALLY arrived.

We were greeted with flowers for our hair, and drinks. 
Mine was the coolest. Probly because they felt bad that I looked the worst.

We stood in a line, waiting for God-knows-what. Soon it became evident that the line was so we could stand by half naked Hawaiian people and get our pictures taken! This started the girls' shall I say.....obsession perhaps...with the evenings' Hawaiian men.

We snapped a shot, and entered the Luau. Doe eyed and filled with wonderment, we looked out onto the gorgeous beach front, and all the little huts. The whole place was dripping with Hawaiian culture. And Hawaiians. (Namely the half naked kind that Laura and Jessica were drooling over.)
We found our seat assignment (awesome. In between the only 2 families with small children. Good.)

Canoe rides? We think yes.
Pocahontas, I mean Laura.

Jessica and I decided not to help row so much, as just sit and do nothing.
Once we'd finished having our tushes rowed around the harbor, we looked around to see who else would entertain us. 

It soon became very evident that Jessica was going to have an AMAZING evening. Laura and I were having fun. But Jessica was in HEAVEN.
"OH! LOOK! Over there! Let's get tattoos! Oh! Look! Hula! Oh! Cool! Look, tree climbers! OOOH! He's tying his sarong! Let's go watch! OHHH! WOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

tattoo. It was quite ugly, so I washed it off about 20 seconds after he was done.

Jessica. Loving every second. Ugly tattoo. She don't mind.
My "flower"
Yah, whatever. Thanks for NOTHING shirtless Hawaiian man.
Laura's also loving it.
Lovely sunset.
 I just got off the phone with my dad who was looking at the pictures of the Luau while talking to me.
"wow! Jessica and Laura look so beautiful! SO lovely. Just beautiful................"

"Yah Dad, I know I looked terrible.."
"Well no! It's not's just that you were wearing all....."
"Yah, well, it's all I had."
"............the blue shirt is nice..."
It's okay, Dad. I know.
Pretty Lady.


I look like a man.

They left me for like 2 hours to go get their adult beverages. I sipped my juice box.
"can we get you anything, Grace? Some water? Milk?" 

Insanely beautiful.

Grace: "Why are you sweaty? Can we not touch?"

Adam. I found the ladies.

These disgustingly attractive hula dancers taught me how to hula.
It wasn't until after the lesson that I realized that the only move I could do correctly translated, 
"Look at my beautiful body."
Piggie pig pig.

Delicious. The pig. Not the wash board abs.
I know 2 girls who might argue though.

Dinner and a show.

Adam, more ladies.


Don't look.

Funny Story, the picture below depicts the man that gave us tattoos. He saw us walking down to the beach after the show, when everyone was leaving. "OH! Hey guys! Did you guys have fun?"
Laura and Jessica pointing at me: "UM SHE WASHED HER TATTOO OFF!"
"Oh. That's okay, I'm not very good." *winks, grins*

Not impressed.

"Would you guys like to take a picture with me?"
Nah. I'm good. 

For some reason Laura was always the one that got stuck with the camera.

"Hey, so Monday I do the fire dancing....."
"Oh. Yah. cool! That's...yah. so great. Totally. Yah. well, yah, I mean that's great! I'd love to. Yah, cause Um fire is cause, yah totally! awesome. and stuff..." ~Jessica

On our way back to the car, Hawaiian Hunks stood around so the breathless tourist women could get more priceless shots with them.

I volunteered to take the pics. It was not a sacrifice in the slightest.

And a few more.

Just as we were about to leave, the girls say:
"Okay, Grace! Your turn!"
"No. I don't want to."
"You're doing it."
Laura takes my belongings, Jessica pushes me into the horde of bare skin and hairless chests.
"no, really...guys, I don't want to!"
The men push me into the small space between them!
"I'd rather not."

No thank you. Please stop. It's almost over. Just a bit longer. Don't move. At least this one doesn't wrap his arm around my back. 
Jessica couldn't go home without the snap shot we took at the beginning.

So, over all. It was great! Lovely weather! AWESOME food (I STILL have a food baby) and a great show! I would recommend a Luau to anyone who comes to Hawaii!


  1. Oh my gosh! That is the most hilarious thing ever - you and those gorgeous Hawaiian guys! :D I SO wish I could've been there for this with my sister. I can hear the sighing and drooling from here! What a great end of vacation adventure for you.

    [Um, tell the girls that I don't think teachers are supposed to look like that. Especially high school teachers! They should have no trouble roping hunky fire-dancers by the end of the year. ;)]

    So fun!

  2. You know you loved it Gracie!

    We get to see you in just 3 more days!!!