Sunday, September 18, 2011

It was nothing....really.

It’s a blustery Sunday. I agreed to bike to church with Marieke, rather than busing there with Brenda and Aaron. I thought it might make me cooler to ride into church all windblown and soaked from the rain. Cause that look has ALWAYS done wonders for me in the past. As you all could probably guess.

Aaron tried getting the internet to work at Marieke’s house last night, but it’s decided to act like a spoiled, rotten, Only Child and do whatever the heck it wants, when it wants. And as it appears, it REALLY doesn’t want to connect to Marieke’s network. 


 Today however, Aaron came round after we blew in from the wind and hail storm after church and here I am, on the internet. At Marieke's! Woot. Gotta love nerds. High five, Aaron!

Since the rain’s appearance, I’ve been forced to break out my rain coat; which is only slightly more attractive than a black garbage bag. I could put up a picture, but I’d rather not. During the hunt for something to keep me dry in Holland (and that was cheap…which was where I went wrong) I discovered that waterproof and hideous went hand in hand. It was like some kind of unwritten law. “Oh, you’re looking for something water proof? Right this way to the ‘Hideous Beyond Belief section,’ where the only sizes to choose from are Large, Larger and then Giant.” Me: “SOoo…is this jacket likely to have shoulder pads?” Salesperson: “Oh without a doubt.” Me: “Riiiiiight….Yes. And will it most likely drape about me in such a way that my gender will be indistinguishable to all creatures that I am likely to come across?” Salesperson: “That’s our money back guarantee!” *wink, wink, point pretend gun, wink* Me: “Yup, I’ll take it!” 

I suppose I have no one to blame but myself. I did try it on. I did buy it. It was $6. Give me a break. 

 If you'll take note, these are all red, and pink Dots. It's kinda like what I imagine heaven being like.

Perfect and complete.

Lacking nothing.

 Kindly look right above my left eye. Just there, above the brow. Do you see it there, that mark. Well it's actually a GASH.

Brenda: You really can't tell it's there. Barely noticeable."

Bold faced Liar, she is. 

I'll live.

It's no big deal, I just rescued an old lady from being mugged, and God knows what else. But let's not think about that. Let's just be thankful that I was there at the right place, right time.

I mean people keep throwing around the word, "Hero!" But really, I mean anyone would have done it. Well not like ANYONE, but you know, anyone with such quick reflexes. And a keen sense of self awarement(it's a word). With as much personal strength as a tiger, and the wit of a lioness.

She just kept going on and on about how brave I was. And smart. Seriously, just stop! I mean you COULD keep going on, but really, I might start blushing. She probably would have have taken a picture of me if she had a camera, but when I asked, she said she didn't have one. I really didn't want to make a big deal of it or anything, I didn't do it for fame or glory, or money....but I guess it would be impossible to get away from a situation like that WITHOUT getting all those things.....

Anyways, I hope I made you proud Pop. Don't worry ma, The Doc says, I'll be fine. Something about how I'm more than fine, like I didn't need to have even gone to the hospital and that I really shouldn't be using up their space and time, but they just said it that way to make me not feel embarrassed. What they were meaning to say is that I'm unnaturally strong, and while OTHER people with such a wound would probly need to be kept over night for monitoring, I have some kind of ultra human strength (I'm assuming) so I could just go home. I'm gonna lay low, I don't really feel like interviewing with the press. Thank goodness they never really heard anything about all. Cause that would just be too much.

But yah, I'm all good. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL good.

Just gonna drink tea, and eat these ginger cookie things. Read a book, and chill out with Catto. She's the world's most cross cat. She doesn't do anything, Ever. And when I get near, she hisses. She's easily 200 years old, and badly needs a good brushing.

Catto also likes to eat Tulips. MY Tulips. Just to tick me off.
Well, I'm off to go see who else I can lend my unusually brave hand to.


  1. Grace are you joking? You rescued a women from a mugging? Hospital??!!!!! You get on the next plane and come home now! Why didn't you mention it this morning? Stop being a Super hero, keep to yourself, no eye contact, remember. I mean it! Stay safe. PLEASE.

  2. I truly hope you got that scratch while falling out of your chair taking a picture of Aaron or something - it would make this post all the more funny! ;)

    Watcha readin'?

  3. Now you've whetted my appetite for the whole story... glad it turned out fine!

  4. It was the bloody bike's fault! It really has it out to make my life miserable! I'm reading this book called, "Beginners Greek." So far pretty dopey. We'll see.

  5. Well, that was all pretty funny. You really ARE your father's daughter - the lies (oh, I mean *stories*) just fall right out of you. :) Everyone at church was going on about how fun it is to read your writing though. They all thought it a pretty funny story.